Adapting to Change

An earlier blog was about “Decide to Change”, yet often change is thrust upon you. It could be a reassignment, promotion, family/life event, company sale, accident, or health crisis. Unless the event is so dramatic that you are stopped in your tracks, your brain will try to force-fit habitual thoughts, actions, perceptions and decision-making approaches to the new situation.

In moving out of your comfort zone, decision-making ability tends to suffer. Do I do this or do that? I’m being asked to do something that I don’t want to do. I’m able to operate more independently, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it.

A quick trick to help you adapt is to create some new rules. Your strengths haven’t changed. Your values haven’t changed. If you can create a set of rules around what to do, and what not to do, you will move more quickly back to a steady state, and stay true to your strengths and values.

For example, early in the development of my business, opportunities were being presented that didn’t feel right, yet I was reluctant to turn anything away. Instead, I wasted energy thinking about and talking about the opportunities, but not committing to making them a reality. A set of criteria for evaluating opportunities helped me make clear decisions about the ones that didn’t feel right, and released me to pursue those that did. Think about the criteria in the form of an open-ended statement. Examples might be:

• I will make decisions without consulting my manager when ...
• I will set non-negotiable boundaries with my teenagers when ....
• I will go to networking events when ...
• I will pursue new job options when ...
• I will leave this job when ....

Having the criteria in place relieves the burden of guilt, uncertainty and discomfort. Having the criteria in place does not lock you in; rather it may lead you to a place where you need to re-evaluate your criteria, add a new one, or make a decision. In any event, by giving yourself rules on when to act or not, you have given yourself additional mental energy for creating the new habits of thought and action needed in the change.

Share with us where you have found criteria helpful in your life.

Confucius

My Chinese colleagues recommend a deeper study of Confucianism as a way of understanding some of the cross-cultural challenges of working in China. Confucius gave rulers clear behavioral guidance. A ruler should:

* learn self-discipline
* govern by example
* demonstrate benevolence (loving subordinates)
* demonstrate wisdom (knowing subordinates)

A ruler can then expect loyalty and support. As you manage those around you, do you follow the precepts of Confucius?

Leave a comment on your views about the role of Confucianism in management today.

Global Leadership Competencies

In researching on the internet to find a suitable set of competencies for one of my speaking engagements, I came across the article "Internationalising corporate leadership competencies through 'behavioural diversity'".

Leadership competencies are generally defined as the observable behaviors that support excellence in leadership. In this article, Stephen Martin notes that many of the existing competency models, while giving a nod to cultural sensitivity, define successful behaviors from the perspective of the dominant culture. As an example, the Career Architect competencies from Lominger Limited defines the competency "Standing Alone" including as an example of skilled behavior, "willing to be the only champion for an idea or position".

In a culture where collectivism is valued over individualism, Standing Alone would not be valued. There may be a high need for people to champion an idea or position, but it needs to be done by involving others, rather than by standing alone. In looking at the competency model Global Leader of the Future Inventory written by Marshall Goldsmith, the competencies are defined more in terms of the outcomes, rather than the specific actions. For example, Standing Alone are captured in "courageously stands up for what he/she believes in". In the US that might mean standing alone; in Asia, it might mean building a collective understanding.

As competency models are developed and propagated within a company, consideration should be given as to whether they provide flexibility and adaptability to the country cultures or whether there is only one way to get the work done.

Avoids Political Behavior

A leadership competency in the area of "Demonstrating Integrity" is "Avoids political and self-serving behavior". Is it really true that in corporations of today, a leadership must avoid political behavior? I disagree. Yet, this a behavior identified the Global Leader of the Future Inventory written by Dr. Marshall Goldsmith in collaboration with Al Jacobson.

A definition of politics is “the process by which a community's decisions are made, rules for group behavior are established, competition for positions of leadership is regulated, and the disruptive effects of disputes are minimized.”* This is a neutral definition; politics is one of the structures of behavior – common to all human relations. It is a process or set of rules overseeing decision-making, group behavior, competition for leadership and dispute handling. I would argue that the savvy senior executive needs to be skilled in using politics, with integrity. Politics is about influence. It is about understanding people's motivations and needs. It is about recognizing the network of relationships in an organization. It is about constructing that meet the organization's needs and influencing the response by being aware of and accommodating, if practical, the needs of various internal stakeholders.

Further in this inventory, we find these additional competencies:

• Builds effective partnerships across the company
• Builds effective alliances with other organizations
• Creates a network of relationships that help get things done.

I wonder, aren't these "political behaviors"? Perhaps a better Leadership Competency would be "Engaging in political behavior in the best interests of the company". For more on political skills, see my earlier blog posting, Office Politics: Playing the Game.

What do you think? Should leaders avoid political behaviors?

Buy Them Lunch

A very wise Chinese leader was talking about a trick she learned from her mentor when she was a a new manager in a difficult environment. The trick? Buy them lunch.

She was counseled to put aside her own agenda. In fact, to go to the lunch with no agenda except to listen. No topics. No debating. No challenging questions. Merely following along with any topic of conversation that arose.

In just listening, she gave respect to her subordinates. In listening, she showed interest. In listening, she began to gain trust.

And if nothing much comes up at the first lunch, there's always dinner.

Decide to Change

Is there one thing in your life would you change if you could? Your job, your relationships, your habits, your fitness? Stop reading, for just a moment, and jot down what you would change.

Have you written down a note or a phrase? If you have, great!

If you have not, what is holding you back?

Tony Robbins has built a successful self-help program on the following theory. "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you."

If you have written down something, there are two competing principles. You believe this change will bring you pleasure. Yet, something has, so far, held you back from making the change. Tony Robbins states, "Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure."

If you have not written something down, potentially an even stronger fear in holding you back from acknowledging the possibility of the pleasure. Are you concerned about rejection, failure, loss of control?

It is only when you have decided that clearly identified the pain of not changing, identified the pleasure associated with the change, can you then move toward the creation of your success. The change then comes through linking pleasure with the new and pain with the old.

Let’s take the example of Sue who really wants, and needs, to improve her fitness. Sue says to herself every evening, “Tomorrow, I’m going to get some exercise.” And every evening, Sue says again to herself, “Tomorrow, I’m definitely going to get some exercise.” Occasionally, she finds a day when she goes for a walk, signs up for the class, maybe even does some sit-ups. She pats herself on the back and then thinks about how the traffic was noisy and busy, her feet hurt, she’s not in good shape, now she’s all sweaty, and so on.

How likely is that Sue will exercise tomorrow? Sue is focused on the discomforts; on what she is “losing” by exercising. She is linking exercise with pain. The benefits, the pleasure, if any, is not acknowledged or little celebrated. “The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors.” (Tony Robbins)

Exercise is linked for Sue with pain; never with pleasure. If Sue is able to create new linkages, she can quickly adopt new habits. For example, Sue might decide that every foot or leg pain was a sign of success. She might decide that every city block walked equaled a fraction of a centimeter off her waist. She might enlist a walking buddy to translate exercise into a time of laughing and talking. She might join an exercise class that included a social activity after each class. She might link the aches of exercise with another day of living for her children.

Recall from my earlier newsletters that our brains are extraordinarily plastic. We have the ability to create new habits of thought and action through choice, focus, repetition, reinforcement, and celebration. When you redefine pain and pleasure to suit your aims, you naturally institute new habits.

Go back to your note. What pain exists in your life and may even grow through staying with the status quo? What pleasure accrues to you through the change? What tools can you use to avoid the pain for continuing with the old habit? What plan can you put in place to reinforce the pleasure of the new habit?

What is the one action you can take today?

-Leave a comment on how this community can support you in your change -

Leaving Home: Planning for Repatriation

Leaving home? Surely this is a mistake; repatriation is about going home, or even coming home. Or is it?

If you expatriated with a major multinational, it is likely that the company sent you and your family for relocation orientation. Only recently have firms begun to arrange for h repatriation orientation. After all, why should they? You’re going home. You’ve probably been home at least once a year during your assignment. This should be easy.

Study after study indicate that more than 60% of repatriates find reverse culture shock, the shock associated with returning home, equal to or greater than the culture shock at assignment. Linked with this is the staggering proportion, typically quoted in the range of 50% to 75%, of assignees who move to another company within 18 months of their return.

Planning for your repatriation, reflecting on your experiences and clarifying your expectations will help you reduce reverse culture shock. You can “leave home” and “come home” with new perspectives and energy.

You settled into your host country. While you may have continued to be intrigued or baffled by the cultural and business differences, you were no longer doing battle against them on a daily basis. You may even have reached the stage where the flip answer to “Where is home?” was “here”. Your host country became your home.

Moving back to your home country represents another disruption. In a family, responses often range from “how soon?” to great sadness. More often, each family member will have a range of feelings as they consider what they are looking forward to and what they may seem to be losing.

Consider the following steps to ease your repatriation.

1. Take time to acknowledge what you have learned or done.Post a timeline covering the announcement of your assignment to your return date. Place markers nearby. Ask family members to write or draw on the timeline key events that had meaning to them. Examples might be going-away parties, visits home, visitors, vacations, school/work/sport milestones, language blunders, new skills, and friends moving away. Try to involve everyone. Set aside a time to look at, talk about, laugh about, and even feel sad about what has passed.
2. Recognize what will change.Create a chart with two columns - “I Will Miss ...” and “I Look Forward To ...”. Invite each member of the family to add comments, pictures and graphics. Set aside a time to talk about what is on the chart. Brainstorm ways to address the things that will be missed. Develop a specific plan to ensure that losses are handled in some way within the first 90 days of your re-entry.
3. Identify elements of your expat life you want to hold onto back home. The expatriate lifestyle may have allowed more leisure time, more interesting travel, more varied food, or less home responsibilities. Hold a family meeting to consider what you want to hold onto back home. When appropriate, solutions should be offered for consideration. When everyone has contributed, work together to find a solution. Make sure that everyone is prepared to listen respectfully and keep an open mind.
4. Plan your Good-byes. Time passes quickly with preparations for the move in both countries. Spend a few minutes individually and as a family to consider who you want to see to say good-bye, who needs to be involved, and when it can happen. Otherwise, you will find yourself on a plane feeling like there were areas left undone. Take time within your first month to re-establish contact with your friends and colleagues. You are the one that moved, you must be the one to reach out.

To recap, repatriation is not as simple as getting on the plane and going home. Reflection, planning, noting the changes in you and your family will go a long way in helping you avoid reverse culture shock.

Please tell us about your experiences with repatriation.

Copyright 2007 Sherry L. Read, all rights reserved