Slow Leadership » The Law of Repulsion

Over on Slow Leadership, Carmine Coyote writes,

The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more of it you’ll keep finding to get rid of. What you give most attention to nearly always assumes a larger role in your life. This isn’t some nutty “law of attraction” nonsense; it’s a simple observation of the way that the human mind works. People who become obsessed with the amount of dog-poop thoughtless owners leave behind on the street see it everywhere. It drives them mad. The rest of us simply step in it, curse, and forget about it. Still, you can sometimes learn even from what you step in. I’ve had it up to here with the “Law of Attraction”—about as goofy an idea as ever spawned a thousand web sites and helped lead gullible people astray. Nevertheless, there is a kernel of truth hiding within the hype. The more you focus on something, the more you’ll keep thinking about it and the bigger the part it’s therefore probably going to play in your life—at least in the short term.

I agree with these sentiments on the “Law of Positive Attraction”, but there is something to it. Brains are limited in what they can handle in a conscious state. As a consequence, adults go through life seeing, hearing and experiencing countless things to which limited or no attention is paid. There are significant events, for example an explosion, that impinge regardless of attention. Less significant events register and are stored in short-term memory only with conscious attention. Attention appears to work by biasing the brain toward the stimuli and by reducing inputs from competing regions. Further, studies indicate that attention must be complemented by a mental state predisposed to accepting or rejecting the information. Conscious attention serves to open the brain to inputs allowing new or stronger neuronal networks to form.

Bottom line, if we’re looking for good, we’re more likely to spot it. If we’re looking for problems, we’re more likely to find them and reinforce our perspectives. Our ability to use our conscious minds to change our brains is phenomenal.

For more on this, I invite you to visit my blog at You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks or for even more on this subject, you can download my research report: Through the Mind We Create Change from this page of my website.

You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

The common idiom “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is interpreted as “people who have long been used to doing things in a particular way will not abandon their habits” (The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, 2003). Research shows that you are unlikely to abandon a habit unless there is a strong motivator to do so, but then, you can change.

The majority of what we do, think, observe and perceive on a daily basis is handled subconsciously, by our habits. Within a stable environment, habits are those behaviors that require little thought to start or stop. These habits are strong, stable and highly connected chains of neurons in our brain –the wiring, so to speak.Research has shown that while this wiring is critical in dealing efficiently with the world,our brains are not “hard-wired”. Indeed,the brain has a tremendous capability to adjust and adapt as needed. The trick is in establishing and supporting the need for change.


1. Going for the challenge
Whether your golf swing or how you conduct meetings, once a behavior is habituated, performance becomes automatic within a moderately stable environment. Governed by strong neural connections, there is only limited improvement that can be made. Only by accepting the challenge of going beyond competence to growth will you begin to lay the groundwork to reach a new level.


2. Create the motivation
You have identified the change to be made; now you must link it with strong and clear motivations. What are the specific benefits that will come to you? Vague benefits such as “I’ll feel better”, “I’ll accomplish more” are unlikely to support you in overcoming the brain’s natural resistance to change. Keep asking yourself “why” until you get to specific, measurable outcomes that you really want, for example, “My waist size will shrink by 2 inches and I will be able to hike in the mountains this summer.”


3. Create a structure
When actions are inconsistent with an existing habit, the brain signals an error. Emotions, including fear and discomfort, are triggered, along with a reduced capability for rational thought. It is no wonder that habits are so hard to break when our brains are naturally designed to sabotage change efforts. Structures, including notes in your diary, buddy systems, tally sheets, daily affirmations,etc., support a change by reducing the need to think and make decisions, as well as providing a sense of security when the brain is sending out warning signals.


4. Pay attention
Attention focused on the new habit closely enough, often enough and long enough builds and strengthens the neural connections. Talking about the change, establishing plans, reviewing progress,visualizing the outcome, thinking about new ways to get there are all mechanisms for increasing attention and the likelihood of creating a new habit.


5. Celebrate
Every step on the way to a new habit should be celebrated. Good feelings release chemicals in the brain that mark the new neural connections for preservation. As the new neural connections become stronger, the change becomes easier. Success breeds motivation, which breeds further success.


You can teach yourself new tricks, when you choose to make a change, have strong positive emotions tied to the change, provide structures to support the change, focus positive energy and attention, and celebrate each step along the way.